You knew I was fragile, but you fucking dropped me anyway.
It does not matter if a boundary makes sense to you. It does not matter if it seems inconsequential to you. Boundaries are the prerogative of the person who sets them. You do not know that person’s story, and they are not obligated to justify their boundaries to you. That touch that seems insignificant to you may be uncomfortably intimate for someone else. That interaction that is fine with others may trigger someone’s PTSD. You do not know more about someone than they know about themselves. Trust that they know what they are doing when they set a boundary with you, even if you do not understand why.
When someone sets a boundary with you they are saying “no.” No means no. Do not push people on their boundaries or ask for explanations that are not readily given. Doing these things indicates that you do not respect their boundaries. For many people, saying “no” once, setting a boundary, is difficult enough. Do not put them in a position where they must repeatedly do so. No means no the first time. Pushing them on it suggests a hope that you can wear them down, which is problematic at best and predatory at worst. No means no.
They are so amazing and speak so many truths - when I have my own clinic I’m going to put all of them up on the walls. So beautiful!
Useful Tools: Pencil Grips from Hair Curlers
Look, it’s a post! A normal length post where I actually write about stuff! Conclusion? School has yet to completely devour me. No worries, exam week is still coming up!
I’ve talked a little bit off and on about large grips on writing instruments being a useful tool for poor dexterity and/or painful hands, but I’ve never actually shown you my favorite grips. So, today, I’m going to do that.
I’ve tried several different kinds of pen/pencil grips since I started having a hand problems. In the end, I found that most of the commercially available options (like you could buy from an office supply store) just weren’t quite large enough or squishy enough for my preferences. The very strange solution? Foam hair curlers.
I like to use the size that Conair calls “extra large,” but there are several different sizes available. These are about an inch in diameter. Here’s the packaging:
[image: a package of 8 Conair extra large foam hair rollers]
So, I just remove the plastic part from the hair curlers, leaving only the foam cylinder with a hole down the middle.
[image: one whole hair curler next to a disassembled hair curled with the plastic core separated from the foam cylinder]
A pen or pencil slides fairly easily into the hole, though it may take a little bit of force the first time. This works best with fairly narrow pens/pencils that don’t have any built-in grip. Here are some of mine that I gathered up from my desk today. (The pencil has very soft lead so that it is easy to write with. It’s technically an artist’s pencil, which is why it doesn’t have an eraser.)
[image: two pens, a pencil, and a thin Crayola marker, each with the foam part of a hair curler wrapped around it.]
The grips last pretty well, though they do tend to become squishier over time as the foam breaks down. They also have the unfortunate habit of changing color as they absorb it little bits of ink and graphite as well as whatever other dirt they happen to come in contact with. (Using a soft leaded pencil, of course, only makes the problem worse.) Technically, you can wash them with a little bit of mild soap and water, but I generally don’t find that it’s worth it. I just put up with slightly dirty pencil grips and wash my hands when I’m done. When they get really nasty and/or so squishy that they’re no longer useful I replace them. Here’s a final action shot!
[Image: my hand, holding a pink marker by its grip and writing the words “Action Shot!” in cursive on a piece of paper.]
I’m trying hard to live by Cat Principles.
1- I am glorious above all things
2- Eat when hungry, sleep when sleepy, play when bored
3- Affection is given and received on my terms and only mine
4- Show displeasure clearly.
6- Demand the things you want. If they aren’t given, demand them again, but louder this time.
7- If you are touched when you don’t want to be, say so. If they continue to touch you, make them bleed.
real reasons bisexual women are more likely to end up in long-term relationships with men:
- huge amounts of societal pressure to be heterosexual or at least hetero passing
- rewards, both legal and social, of heterosexual marriage
- fear of coming out as bisexual, except in anonymous self-reporting studies
- fear of accidentally flirting with straight women because of the stereotypes concerning homosexuality and predatory behaviours
- disappointment/resignation after a life full of unreciprocated crushes on straight women
- negative opinions about bisexuals making it difficult to find partners within the LGBTQ community
not a reason bisexual women are more likely to end up in long-term relationships with men:
- bisexuality isn’t a real orientation and we’re all secretly faking it
Two more reasons to love Carol Rossetti’s pictures collection is because it adresses disability and it portrays women with disabilities too. I’m so excited that the first one has my name on it!